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Relationship Advice blog

Need some relationship advice? In addition to the tips and tools in the Relationship Repair Game, this blog has articles, inspirations and explorations to support personal growth, healing, and conflict transformation in relationships. 

How to Protect your Relationship from Pandemic Stress

Stuart Watson

Since March of 2020, everything in our lives has changed so much. Including our relationships and how we connect with one another. With stress and uncertainty at an all-time high, it’s understandable if your relationships have seemed rocky or difficult over the last year. You can begin building stronger connections with these tips for navigating change and stress.

Home Should Be a Stress Sanctuary

When you walk into your home, is clutter the first thing you see? Visual clutter is scientifically proven to increase anxiety, and could be compounding stress and anxiety for the people who live in your home. If you’ve noticed an increase in arguments and complaints lately, this could be one of the reasons. Try simplifying and removing stagnant projects and items energy sources to refresh the atmosphere in your home.

Start by sorting through clutter and getting rid of what you don’t need. Depending on restrictions in your area, you may be able to donate unwanted items to local charities. If not, make sure you dispose of them properly. After you’ve decluttered and cleaned, open a few windows for fresh air.

Create a Peaceful Area in the Home

The ability to soothe stress and release tension is also an essential skill you need to maintain healthy relationships. Do you have a special place in the home, a “zen” corner, etc. that you can make beautiful and inspiring? Even if it’s just a little shelf, you can use it as an “alter” by placing items on it that are meaningful to you. This might be pictures of loved ones, or inspirational artwork like the cards from the Relationship Repair Game.

Make a few minutes each day to sit quietly in the area, relax any tension, and re-connect to your intention for how you want to feel. After just a few times of practicing, you will notice you begin to feel relaxed as soon as you sit in the area.

Coping With COVID Requires Compassion

Our connections have also been shaken by the extreme uncertainties of the COVID-19 pandemic. In each household, we’re all doing our best to deal with a constant flood of stressful changes, like having children learning at home while we’re also trying to work remotely. Not to mention that within couples, each individual may have different ideas about how to cope.

With so much uncertainty and added stress, conflicts will arise in any relationship. If you are experiencing pandemic-related conflicts, rest assured that The Gottman Institute affirms that conflict is necessary in order to maintain healthy relationships. It’s how you handle that conflict that determines whether you grow and find healthy resolutions.

If you and your partner differ in terms of lockdown or COVID coping mechanisms, it’s important that you each feel safe and comfortable sharing your thoughts. When having these talks with your partner or other family members, be sure to practice open and active listening. Remember that compassion should feel like a soft candle shining the deepest parts of yourself and others.

Self-Care is Essential for Healthy Relationships

As many of the social entertainment options have been decreased, there is an opportunity to put more effort and care into your relationships. As you look for ways to manage stress and conflict in your relationships, be sure to identify some strategies for taking better care of yourself. If it helps, sit down with your partner and make your own self-care checklists. You can compare them to see if you have common self-care interests, and then you can work on practicing those stress-relieving habits together.

It’s also perfectly normal to have different self-care priorities. For example, you may need to practice yoga a few times each week to feel grounded, while your partner may prefer running to let off some steam. In these cases, negotiate your schedules so you each have time to do what you love. Taking time for yourselves will help keep you both healthier and so much happier.

The pandemic has been a test of our senses and our relationships. Although a vaccine is being distributed, there’s still uncertainty around when things will begin to feel normal. Until then, try to arm yourself with tools and resources like the ones above and Breaking Through. That way you can manage stress, resolve conflict and nurture your relationships with care and compassion.

By Jennifer Scott from SpiritFinder.org